Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Fury.

December 29, 2007

My favorite emotion is anger.

Whatever neurotransmitters are released, I feel more focused and alive, ready to take on anything.

Vendetta. Revenge. I’ll-show-’em.

With every acyl chain transforming into amino acid backbone.

Unfortunately I have conditioned myself to drink when I’m angry.

It may have disastrous consequences in the future.

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I realize the fates have spoken, and there’s nothing I can do.

But even a rat needs to let out its fury of being trapped in a cage.

December 27, 2007

I was good today.

I didn’t get drunk at 3 PM.

Christian Sharia?

December 27, 2007

Apparently, there’s something called “Christian Reconstructionism” – basically, rule under Biblical law. Scary, eh?

Does that mean I have to start wearing a scarlet H?

I believe God endowed us with the knowledge and ability to progress socially through time. Women don’t need to wear headscarves or defer to men. Adulterers should not be stoned to death.

There are more important things to worry about than evolution, Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays, etc.

Jesus Himself said if we feed and clothe the needy, we are feeding and clothing Him. But we obviously ignore that and focus on Bible verses that condemn people. God doesn’t care about following rules and regulations. He cares about how we use our lives to help the needy.

Quiet.

December 27, 2007

I woke up at 5 AM to go to early morning prayer service.  It wasn’t my idea.

Afterwards the pastor and his wife invited me to breakfast so I went and had some steak, eggs, hash brown, and toast at this Mexican restaurant.

He asked me what kind of woman I wanted to marry.

Moment of awkward silence.

The quiet, modest kind.

He has this fallacious idea that I’m a devout Christian, that I go to church every Sunday and tithe.

If he were to know I am gay, I don’t think it would register.  He might try to pray it out of me.

I hate putting on this front, but I also don’t want late-night calls urging me to give up my sinful “lifestyle”.

I read in the Old Testament somewhere that all God wants is humility and faithfulness in His will.  I’m not going to be the kind of Christian that forces his beliefs on everyone.  I will try to live my life as best I can – helping the poor and the needy, praying for peace around the world, fighting social injustice.  If anyone asks, I will tell them my beliefs.

The difference between evangelizing 2000 years ago and now is that everyone in the (Western) world has already heard of Jesus.  We can’t force them to believe in someone when our actions are sometimes so reprehensible.

Try This Again.

December 26, 2007

I had my personal blog over at Blogger, but since it was under the same author ID as my non-personal blog, it showed up in search engines with the same name.

So I switched over to WordPress.

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Yesterday I went to church for Christmas service.  I wish I could be that good little Christian again.

Last night I hooked up with a guy I met on Craigslist.  On Christmas.

Now I feel terrible.

I hope Jesus will forgive me.

BF.

December 26, 2007

I wonder if I can find a good Christian gay boyfriend out there.

Who has a nice body and a nice smile.

With a stable employment record.

And a love for expensive designer bags.

Vision. Death.

December 26, 2007

Apparently the last time I got my eyes checked out was three years ago.  Fortunately, my vision hasn’t changed much.

I really hate getting my eyes checked – all those strange eyes drops and multicolored lights piercing through your cornea.  My eyes are still numb, and I can probably stab myself and not feel much pain.

Later today, I have to get the title of a burial plot transferred to my name.  It’s not for me – it’s for my parents.  They bought it off my cousins for $7000 because they were in a financially difficult situation and needed cash.

Now I don’t have to hear the incessant, “You’re going to just cremate us, aren’t you?”